her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
not ubering you a puppy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
