He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
