Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You pole danced in your parka.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize