My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
