I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
