Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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