last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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