Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
