Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
