he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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