yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
