I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
