I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can Purell be used as lube?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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