it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
