So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
