i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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