As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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