Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
