he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Text me some of your sweat
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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