Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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