btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
