By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
