It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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