i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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