mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the condom got lost in my hair
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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