matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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