I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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