Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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