i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
