Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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