So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
