the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
