He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He did a backflip because drugs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
