I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
