please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
