Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
