aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
