Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
