the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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