oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
