Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
