she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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