I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
