he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
