She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
