No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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