She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
