My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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