I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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