fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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