Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
