you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
